I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
