Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
