don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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