he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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