Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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