Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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