i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
