Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
