Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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