ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
