i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
