at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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