when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish there were birth control emojis
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
