he told me I talked like a deaf person
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
