Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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