i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
