I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
