covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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