You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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