Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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