why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize