please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
