I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
