Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you never un-have a 4some
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
