im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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