When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
