Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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