what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
