Plan B is the new Plan A
I bet he comes in French.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
