just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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