So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
