The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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