Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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