I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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