mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
