Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
