I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
