I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just forgot I was standing up.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
