Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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