My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
