I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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