Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
