I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
