As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
