I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
