Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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