3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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