He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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