Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have peed in a lot of sinks
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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