Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my being single is dangerous.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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