so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
