theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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