you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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