guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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