How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
