so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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