I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
