Cold hands, warm shart.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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