Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize