You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
