i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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