I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
